fighting.

got in a bit of a fight tonight with emrhubby. as of late im not even sure how the fights get to where they get. i wanted to start a vintage rental & wedding decor company with a couple of my friends. today one of them called and told me our favourite bizzcard printer was having a sale so i started to designing the cards for the new company. i went to show emrhubby what i'd designed and he got mad. saying what was i gonna do next 'buy a .com' - about half hour earlier i had bought a .com for $6. so i didn't think much of it. well that got him super upset saying i never ask him before i do things. and that i wont have time for this company. i just look at as another way to make money. we have a huge 3500 pickup truck and it needs to do something to pull its weight, it also still has minor issues that need to be fixed from us getting ripped off at that dealership awhile back... but the point is we had a similar fight the day before and the day before that. basically we some kind of issue we can't seem to move past. i know we have alot going on but really... i end up feeling stupid and dumb for even thinking of this new business and he's been mad most of the day because i asked him to get up in the morning with the kids. i know it's my job. just last night he told me i could sleep in if I wanted and he'd get up with them. he spent most of the night pretty upset with our baby and when it was time to get up i felt hugely guilty and i was about to get up... he let me sleep though and when i came down stairs at 11.30 am he got up off the couch and went to bed till 3pm. i spent most of the day editing photos as i have 3 weddings (ours included) to get through by next week.
i really hate him stressed. our baby asn't been sleeping at all. he just fell asleep now and i really dont know what else to do. starting businesses and making design concepts keeps me happy and sane. or else i'd go crazy nd probably break down or majority get hit with post-partum depression.
when he asked me what i support from him i wanted to say, every time he got hurt at work and the company blamed him i was right there to support him, when his dumb sister and dad had us into a corner i've been there to support him, i've watched him been assaulted at work when i first met him and i stayed at his house for a week straight to make sure he was alright (that's not support but i was there) - i hate to think we have to keep score. so i just looked at him and shook my head.
the biggest thing, us going into debt to get him to be a paramedic so he'll be happy with life again. i cant  say that, he'll just say i want this life and im the one who wanted him to do it. even though when he came back from volunteering with St. john ambulance the other day he was so happy and excited. when he applied for BC ambulance he was so happy and excited. now he's going into PCP in october and he's so excited. yet i feel immediate guilt for bringing it up...

emrhubby says no time for this new business i want to start. i see my 2 lazy friends with alot of time on their hands to do most of the grunt work for me.
but most of all, out of this whole thing... i feel he thinks it's stupid. a waste of time. money and that i should know that and not make him upset about even thinking about it further.

and it starts...

monday night emrhubby went and volunteered for st. john ambulance. he spent 3 hours there. luckily emrhubby's mom lives with us (since july this year) - so i wasn't alone too much with the kids. i like that a bit more. she is very nice and we all get along. thankfully.
anyway, his scheduling is going be filling up. he's starting the paramedic course on october 29th now as he wants more time to pre-read all the material like they suggest. so he can Ace this too like he did the EMR. And right now we're in vancouver and he's applying with BC Ambulance!
There's alot of paramedics walking around in uniform, very surreal to know that is what emrhubby will be wearing soon...

best weekend ever!

we're married!!!

 { survived my crazy family and the crap that got thrown at us. }

hubby2be, well not so much anymore. I guess we can call him emrhubby cause he passed his test yesterday and is now a registered EMR!

its defiantly one of the most chaotic days, a big lead up and it's over WAY TOO FAST! 

i'll write more later but for now thought i'd update we lived and no, we don't need to pay for the catering anymore...

Still messed up.

I was up most the night with my head racing. The complete rude behaviour if my family still present as my mom texted till 1.30 am (i ignored it), claiming she would pay for some of the catering. Thats nice & all but them asks if hubby2be's parents can pay too. FML.
Why was the catering paid in full if we were suppose to pay. I dont understand.
On top, i have a bitchy photo client grueling down my back about nothing. Litterally shes fucked. She 'dosnt want any of her photos published'... Too bad. You signed a model release and contract.
Im done with these scummy clients. I could have saved myself my sunday after the wedding and the headache by saying no. SOrry. Booked. Fuck i knew it too.
Anyway. Im not worrying about her. Please wish us luck.

Hubby2be just got up to go do his written exam.

Wedding bliss? More like family hell...

Is there a reason why people turn into crazy physco people at weddings?

Tonight i got a call from my sociopathic mother saying that my granparents (her mother) were not paying the catering bill as they promised. It had gone something like this ...
Me : we cant afford it with our truck breaking down.
My grandparents: o no dont worry about it. We can take care of it.

So here i am scraping odds of my photo money together to get the wedding going and i get a call saying i owe a catering bill...

Lets start off, my moms side is full of some of the most manipulative, destructive and evil people. They make you feel small and like its all your fault. Tonight was no exception.

So why do i have anything to do with them??
Cuz i love my sweet innocent grandpa. Who really knows the value of life and even though he's been sick this month, i have never stopped thinking of him once. He wrote thr cheque to the caters ( my aunt & uncle) and im guessing he never thought twice but my grandma saw it, called my mom and my mom called saying 'im not getting involved im not getting involved! You owe catering money...!'

I called my grandma. She beat around the bush because of my contronting her. I was trying my best to leave out emotions. She said shed call back after i said id have to cancell as wecant afford the bill. Everyone knows hubby2be is starting paramedic school.

Me and hubby2be were under the impression the catering was being taken care of. I told my grandmother this. I told her we would have figured something else out but they wanted it catered!
No...they didnt want to look bad!!! They wanted my wedding to be their show off ground. They invited all their friends while i organized and made all my wedding decore and more!
I do not deserve my millionaire grandmother telling me she cant afford 2800. Then telling me when i asked her why it wasnt brought to our attention when the bill was paid, that we'd have to remburse them. My MOH tonight asked if they have ever done anything for me. The answer is no. They do this that benefit them. Catering my farm wedding would look good to their friends but it wasnt for me. It was for show. Im at a loss. Im done. If i never saw them again, i would miss my papa greatly but the rest of my manipulative crazy family? No.

They treat me like crap. My 3 yr old horseshows me more love than my own mother ever has. I promise myself, whatever happens, i wont fall victim to them again.

Wish hubby2be luck, his final written is tomorrow. He's got an A average :)

I love him. I cantwait to marry him.

for now.

it was a harder day today. hubby2be woke up super grumpy. i had him make the arch for our wedding and he basically wanted nothing to do with it. then my mom wanted to collect up all the decor for the reception and take it to my dad's farm (where the wedding is at). hubby2be was pretty grumpy through this whole experience. we had a good fight about it and then somehow have moved on and back to liking eachother again. with the wedding so close i understand we're going to be super stressed. hubby2be's final written and practical are friday & sunday (our wedding is saturday). yep, this week is going to be scary.
i somehow got the arch done and painted and hubby2be even helped paint it by the end of the day. i know life is going to be tough with him as a paramedic. he likely won't be around much and the 4 on/4 off will be different to get used to but in the end it will make him happy and make me happy in turn.
he called bc ambulance today and he's getting ready to apply. it's looking like there is a better chance to get full time in Prince Geroge, but for the first 3 years he will be part time and work his way up. PG is suppose to be easier to get into. Vancouver not so much. but we want to move away from vancouver, we disike alot of things about vancouver big time! (let's not get started on that topic). For now, the arch...

SCARY...

we were sitting on the couch tonight. i had just fed the dogs. we started to smell a very toxic gas smell. almost like electric/acid smell. then it got stronger. stronger. stronger...
we noticed our yellow lab on the landing on the stairs. when i got up there her mouth was foaming and she was choking.
the smell was coming from her. hubby2be dragged her outside and started washing her mouth out with the hose. I couldn't find any chemicals or open packaging. Hubby2be noticed the smell was coming from the backyard in the back. (we live in a townhouse). So he walked over to the fence and found a large rat trap the pest-control guy had put in. We didn't know it was there. It says it's "pet & kid" proof (whatever)...
Hubby2be called poison control. They needed to know what poison it was. As soon as he went close to the trap, he could hardly breathe. He got it. they told us to induce vomitting. She threw up 7 times almost right after giving her the peroxide. Her puke smelled like this acid/electrical gas.
The fire department came and removed the trap, in hazmat suits and oxygen. As soon as they picked it up, it smelled so strong. Hubby2be has been researching it for the last 15 mins, and found out that the poison in the trap can make this poisonous gas. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS WAS IN OUR BACKYARD!???
We're thinking now, she caught a rat or mouse running out of this "trap" (cause she's got a hunting drive in her) and maybe tried to eat it but since her puke did not have any animals in it, she likely let it go once she tasted the nasty poison and ran back into the house...

this shows you how easy and how dangerous using these types of chemical poison traps can be. period. Hubby2be is president and property manager of our townhouses, he said tomorrow all these traps will be removed. I suggest people stay away from these things and stick with traditional traps. this thing has been off gassing because of the hot weather we've been having, causing it to make this poison gas. which means we've been slowly breathing this in for the past few days...

please pray for pinot, our yellow lab, that she will be okay. poisoning can take up to a week to show...

working on life.

with the bachlorette on saturday night and everyone's need to buy me a new drink every time mine ran out... I got drunk pretty fast. then a couple days ago hubby2be thought it would be fun to have our friends over and once again, drank too much... my liver felt like it was about to die. I'm pretty sure.

a day ago, we went to register him for the paramedic academy for Sept 10th!
by next April time he'll be a paramedic!

that's hubby2be at practice a few days ago. he's on the right. 

he'll be done the EMR course next weekend (the weekend of our wedding is when all his final exams are).

the wedding haha.... i'm going CRAZY - like really. right now I should be doing wedding stuff...
on top we're fighting a car dealership that had done really bad work on our truck earlier in the week. that's been a complete headache. seriously, they are such scum bags, their making up things that we never said and tying to blame us for why our truck was never got fixed properly. how can you blame customers to this level? i have no idea. it's not right either way. it makes me feel sick.

on a side note, i'm so happy the paramedic schooling is working out for hubby2be! we just need to pull $5,700 out of no where. *cough* what the dumb car dealership owes us... we'll be taking them to court if they don't settle this week!

me with my horse the other day. her name is lilly. she's only 3 an such a sweetie.

Need a cool off...

Feeling a bit agitated. Frustrated and i'm not totally sure why ... Tonight I got 2 things done That have needed to be done for awhile. 1st was the better buisness bureau complaint about the absolute horrible and neglent work our truck recieved up north on a trip. We ended up spending $4200 on things we were told we needed and then on top of it, the work they did do (that was unneeded) they actually broke new parts! And didnt do the work correctly at all, then lied to us and tried to get us goti pay more. So we finally sent that in, if it dosnt go any further with the better buisness bereau than we will sue them with a lawyer for not just the money we lost on a realistic $300 job but for loss of wages and stress, ect!
Then i also wrote out my victim impact statment for the courts because they caught the 2 ppl that stole my wallet!!  Hopefully this will have a good outcome! I mean what are the chances these losers would get caught!!?? They did and they sent me all the info i needed to fill out and i really let them know how its affected me and how im paranoid about my belongings and everything! F
I really hope they get what they deserve!!

Maybe i'll get all my money back and the money i am spending to get my ID back!

Yay!

Hubby2be got 92% on his exam this morning! He's got an A average and im so proud of him! Even though last night was my bachlorette and He drove us downtown and then picked us up because my mom flaked on us and decided she didnt want to take the kids afterall overnight. So he got 3 hours of sleep before school. Hubby2be was soooo mad last night about that as my friends boyfriend was suppose to pick us up so he could get a full night of sleep without the baby screaming...
We made it work... Like usual! Hubby2be is also a bit upset because he dosnt think he's getting a bachlor party (due to school scheduling) but i have taken it upon my self to get the groomsmen to surprise him the day before the wedding after his final written and take him out on one! I know, he'll likely be so hung over for the wedding but whatever, it willmean so much to him!
He'll be home soon though!  I cant believe Im gonna be a paramedic wife very soon!!
He'll be starting his paramedic training Sept 10th if all goes to plan amd we get all the money together! Basically trying to find 6grand out of nowhere! Wanna help??

getting close!

our wedding is getting close and so is the end of hubby2be's paramedic course!

though this past weekend it seemed like his course was more of a joke than a serious thing. the teacher apparently spent the entire time "flirting" with one of the cool guys as her boyfriend cheated on her...
explain to me why I even know any of this???
does this not seem completely unprofessional?

on top of it, apparently every weekend they have a choir in singing down the hall... these people are trying to learn to be paramedics. this is through a very good school too! (it seems they don't care much about the weekend course)... hubby2be is pretty choked with these things. His instructor was being pretty rude all weekend due to her "breakup" and then sunday decided to snap at everyone the whole day except her flirt toy... in my personal opinion they should have older people who have been paramedics longer teaching this course. people that have seen it all, have a family and want to pass on knowledge. not straight off the boat and only a year and half of paramedicine under her belt (by the way she still lives at home!) ... how do I know this again!? (SO unprofessional)

hubby2be is fighting to complain but really, with only another few weeks left, i told him to just do it, study and learn it at home and get it done and out of there. he'll be on to his new career soon enough and won't have to deal with tard-heads like this that think this stuff is okay...

wish him all the best, he's so close!

first responder wives.

tonight we accidentally stopped in at a BBQ birthday party and were invited in to join. we started talking to some people that we know on more of an acquaintance level. The husband is still in the process but he's almost done for the RCMP (police). They have a baby that was born 4 days after ours this year so we have quite a bit in common... especially since both our husband's will be first responders. We're going to try to get together soon too. I may find this easier with someone else that will be in the same boat... long hours with no husband, who's out there helping people and not knowing which call they'll be going to next... and then there's just me and the kids... yes please. i need more friends haha.

below is my horsey, we jsut moved her to her new barn this week and she is very happy on her 10 acres of pasture and other horse-friends :)