fighting.

got in a bit of a fight tonight with emrhubby. as of late im not even sure how the fights get to where they get. i wanted to start a vintage rental & wedding decor company with a couple of my friends. today one of them called and told me our favourite bizzcard printer was having a sale so i started to designing the cards for the new company. i went to show emrhubby what i'd designed and he got mad. saying what was i gonna do next 'buy a .com' - about half hour earlier i had bought a .com for $6. so i didn't think much of it. well that got him super upset saying i never ask him before i do things. and that i wont have time for this company. i just look at as another way to make money. we have a huge 3500 pickup truck and it needs to do something to pull its weight, it also still has minor issues that need to be fixed from us getting ripped off at that dealership awhile back... but the point is we had a similar fight the day before and the day before that. basically we some kind of issue we can't seem to move past. i know we have alot going on but really... i end up feeling stupid and dumb for even thinking of this new business and he's been mad most of the day because i asked him to get up in the morning with the kids. i know it's my job. just last night he told me i could sleep in if I wanted and he'd get up with them. he spent most of the night pretty upset with our baby and when it was time to get up i felt hugely guilty and i was about to get up... he let me sleep though and when i came down stairs at 11.30 am he got up off the couch and went to bed till 3pm. i spent most of the day editing photos as i have 3 weddings (ours included) to get through by next week.
i really hate him stressed. our baby asn't been sleeping at all. he just fell asleep now and i really dont know what else to do. starting businesses and making design concepts keeps me happy and sane. or else i'd go crazy nd probably break down or majority get hit with post-partum depression.
when he asked me what i support from him i wanted to say, every time he got hurt at work and the company blamed him i was right there to support him, when his dumb sister and dad had us into a corner i've been there to support him, i've watched him been assaulted at work when i first met him and i stayed at his house for a week straight to make sure he was alright (that's not support but i was there) - i hate to think we have to keep score. so i just looked at him and shook my head.
the biggest thing, us going into debt to get him to be a paramedic so he'll be happy with life again. i cant  say that, he'll just say i want this life and im the one who wanted him to do it. even though when he came back from volunteering with St. john ambulance the other day he was so happy and excited. when he applied for BC ambulance he was so happy and excited. now he's going into PCP in october and he's so excited. yet i feel immediate guilt for bringing it up...

emrhubby says no time for this new business i want to start. i see my 2 lazy friends with alot of time on their hands to do most of the grunt work for me.
but most of all, out of this whole thing... i feel he thinks it's stupid. a waste of time. money and that i should know that and not make him upset about even thinking about it further.