Monday, September 30, 2013


i need the skies to part.
i need every ounce of anything I've ever had in me to shine through now.
i want us to just catch a break.

i need it. i wishing it with all my heart that we can now finally find our peace.

i understand people struggle just like us, maybe years of it but i can't stand being hounded by creditors anymore and being threatened. when i hardly owe money really.

we need something to give.
please world. with anything you can, can you just let me have this one thing.
all i want is peace.
all i want to do is move.
here we are, we found a home we love and feels like home and all we have to do is sell this house.

this may all seem left feild but honestly i just couldn't bring myself to write about it on here.

we found a house up north and we put in an offer.

believing our house here would be an easy sell.

because really, it should be. its a nice clean house in vancouver, bc. but now the realtor wants to drop it. making us walk away with not enough for the new downpayment...

but all i want is my new life. i want AWAY from this place!!

do you know what it feels like to suffocate?

that's what i feel like here. i want to breathe!!!

i want to be done this dumb torment, it's chiselled my heart for over a year and i refuse to let it win. i am determined.

let us go and let us move and be my husband.

he's seven hours away, working everyday to catch up on bills.


Saturday, September 7, 2013

hubs up on the rigs!

yes, my husband is up north on the oil rigs working for a big medic company there.
this is a very good thing!

I guess i haven't been posting as much about what's been going on with him. but that is because we have alot up in the air and waiting on a few things... like cough... a house up north!

i sure could use all your happy thoughts and good vibes, trying to get this house ready to sell is insane, we are going full blown right now trying to make everything happen and hubby is on his 1.5 week mark of 3 weeks up north!

right now he's on a job no internet or reception!

welcome to my new life!! haha

it's not easy but this month we would have paid all our bills on time and after a year... that is a blessing and i am so thankful we got through it!

I made that little banner below (last post). it is soo true. BE LEAD BY YOUR DREAMS! you can def. get there. you just have to keep by thick and thin and just when it's going to wear you down you find your strength again!

My husband's journey has inspired a friend of his to also start a career as a paramedic as I found out tonight... he starts EMR (i remember the day hubs went to his first class) tomorrow!

Bella xx

JAMES on new bedding! lol 

(btw we got new bedding!! it's the first time we've ever had matching NICE bedding!!)