Saturday, March 23, 2013


So finally my hubby got scheduled for a BCAS interview!! say YES omg ABOUT freaking time THANK god!! 
can't wait till he's hired which should be around may/june with how the hiring works. IT will be sooo nice to have normal income again. we just gotta make it a few more months!

i should just come up with a survival guide for people about to go through a year of school haha ...  no money and about to die of stress at any moment...

so the interview is april 8th!!

FINALLY he'll be driving one of these around soon!! (seriously that's a BCAS ambulance :D )

Friday, March 22, 2013


JUST found out Emrhubby passed all his practicals and did well on them and he JUST finished the written exam so we find out those results monday or tuesday. OH MY GOSHIES I'm so excited!

My hubby has worked so hard!! today is his last day. LAST day of school!!

how did we make it here? dosn't it feel like just yesterday i started this. so much has happened yet at the same time... god, i never knew we'd get here. i mean i knew we would it just always seemed so far away and now he's got an hour and a half left before he's done!!


Sunday, March 17, 2013


yes, it's true. my husband has ONE WEEK left of class and it's a week straight of final exams and then he will be what he's always wanted!!
and somehow we've army crawled through all the rest of this crap and things are turning around. a month ago i was bordering having panic attacks and today i feel like we're about one step away from the light! like beaming balls of light!

sure, we're still broke (at the moment) but i gotta say, it's taught us a lot and i know we will never be back here again!! the suffering was way worth the gain when I see my hubby in his paramedic uniform!

he's been studying his butt off this whole week. today he's doing 12 hours straight as he volunteers for St. John Ambulance at a soccer tournament and waits for people to get hurt - ha, something he honestly seems to enjoy more than anything i've ever seen him do before.

Writing this post right now - i think this is the first time in months i've actually been "happy"... i mean i've tried to pick myself up about this whole thing multiple times but now i kind feel it's all coming together.
i guess when the going get's tough you just keep going! my last famous words...

on another note, awhile ago i had posted the story of what has happened to my husband. and some people ended up giving us some money to help us out, while it wasn't a lot we actually did get groceries that week and i was basically flabbergasted from the generosity of people. to be honest, it was quite a hard story for me to post his story and we really should talk to a lawyer once we get some money because the company has done this to others too... I just wanted to bring it up because I took the post down awhile ago.... When I did write it was like having a panic attack thinking we'd get foreclosed on or something awful. Though, to the people who did donate some money, thank you so much. I hope I can repay the favour one day to you.

anyway, what i'd really like to do is just move past it all! thanks for all your guy's support, i really do appreciate it.

and on another note, my new novel that i update in chapters has been up for about two weeks and it's kinda somehow... taken off? It's just over 300,000 reads and it's also #8 in the werewolf category...
so if you like fantasy reads you should check it out! 

i'll keep you posted on his finals! though i'm pretty sure he's gonna do awesome! 

Bella xx

Monday, March 4, 2013


really realized today what i'd be giving up with a job... our daily life in a nutshell! 

alot has gone down..

alot happened this week. we're amazingly getting by even though we owe aton of money to people, we are getting there... and finally end of the tunnel is in SIGHT!

emrhubs has one month till he's done school. tomorrow mark's his first bunch of tests... wish him luck. For him. for us... for our life at this huge turning point.

I also went for a job interview this week. it went well and they wanted to hire me and they booked me a training schedule. but when i found out i would only be getting 5 hour shifts and spending more money on gas and being away from the kids ... i really realized what i was doing.

I wanted to be a stay-at--home mom... it's what i've always wanted.
though we needed the money tomorrow i'm doing a photoshoot for the same amount of money i would have made the week of working there... you can see how this is contradicting...

i backed out of the job. i had to!
i know gut feelings by now and i had that gut feeling. i don't want to come off lazy because i love to work! i work at my barn and i work photography... but this was different this was away from my kids and my house and my laundry and my dogs and my ... life. i'm so used to being at home and doing my wife/mom thing i couldn't do it.

and to be honest, my husband was keeping his mouth shut but when i asked if he really wanted me to - he said no. he said he didn't care about the tiny bit of money we would come out with - less than $200 a mnth! and i agreed. for some strange reason i felt the need to get a job-job and then it happened and I couldn't do it!

i just couldn't do it.

i love writing and doing photography. right now- photography is making some money and it will pick up.

later. i know my writing will make me money... i started a new novel on wattpad called ALASKA... it's had close to 1,000 reads in two days - i was floored. there's something about writing and it's really catching me.

sorry for the EPIC post. i know i've been saying i'm going to stat blogging more but now that i've figured out life a bit more. my hubby almost done school and life slowly piecing it's way back together... i feel happier...

crap this blog has been a mind whirl! i mean i sure have tracked a crazy journey thus far... and plus BC Ambulance is getting my hubby in for an interview finally! let's hope for the amazing outcome of his dream job! <3

my kid making herself into a "kitty"... 

would have missed this life too much...