trying.

things are pretty bad today.
i kinda have a huge lump in my throat followed with my heart missing beats. it's hard to be this broke. we have a house but our account is in the negative, our truck needs to be paid in 3 days and we have no way to do it. emrhubs wants me to ask my mom. this in hindsight seems like an okay idea, but she'll make my life a living nightmare if i ask her. she'll hold it against me the rest of my life and she'll make me feel like i owe her. even after i pay her back.
today i really wished it didn't exist because it sucks...

so i just emailed my mom. i just couldn't do it on the phone. ugggh... this is why i WRITE books, their life takes me away from this and makes it a bit easier. if i didn't write or draw or take photos... i'd be in a mental institution... okay well, that maybe a bit over the top but my life would be different. that's for sure.

i'm trying to remember and know this will all be a distant memory soon.

today. mentally. done.

so today we were suppose to get paid. from the company that my husband works for. did they pay us?

no.

but they did say we owed them money.

so they took it.

thanks... well done for letting us know.

we're so broke. we can't even see the broke line... we're tapped out and though we can see the finish line for paramedic school, it's so darn frustrating.

it's pretty bad. i'm not gonna lie.

i mean i could sit here like alot of bloggers do and sugarcoat my life but really... i didn't start this blog to sugarcoat. i started this blog to remember all the good and the bad and to look back and see how far we've come.

basically our insurance companies are being... well, insurance companies. it's balls.

bad. balls.

i did do alot of nice things today and i really tried to not let ball insurance companies ruin it but yea. thanks alot universe... you better have something good up your sleeve... pull it out. i want it now. even though you likely won't give me it till the last second. so give me it. cause we're at the last second.

on a lighter. not so depressing note. i took our toddler to see Strawberry Shortcake in concert... that was a first. 300 kids jumping and screaming as people in costumes sing - somewhat horribly to music... i got a headache. got hit in by 2 dad's (yes, really...i'm pretty sure they were with their wives too)... then spent 5 dollars on a bag of chips and a chocolate milk. but all in all, it was kinda of amusing.

now let's burn this day and start over. as emrhubs i'm sure would agree...

i released book two today!

so minor heart palpitations....

today i reached over 5,000 views on book one of my series, on the poplar reading site WATTPAD <click here> 

Anyway, I thought it would have taken a lot longer but today was the day and today was also the day I got my final feedback on the entire book two! So yes, book two is done but it is purposely getting released in chapters on wattpad to pull in more readers :D So go to that link below if you want to check out book two!

BOOK TWO 

"SANCTION"

kay sorry for the plugg... had to share!! was too excited about the 5,000 reads haha!