lately i've been thinking alot about how to stay together forever. not in a negative way. but in last few weeks i've heard of some people we know breaking up that have kids....
I get so flabbergasted about these things. and no, my marriage is not perfect and sure, some times I just wanna choke emrhubs and make him give himself CPR but whatever... like we're ever going to break up and i can't even begin to think about why we would.
The most unfair thing about a couple who has kids breaking up or taking a break is a) it's so completely immature and b) you're not punishing your partner, you're punishing your children.
I know, I was the product of divorced parents and never knew them together. It freaking sucked. In fact, now that I'm older and hearing the real reasons for their divorce it makes me even more mad. Reasons like ... my mom just wanted away from her hometown, my dad was in the navy and never home. my mom then hated my dad and my dad lied down and took her crap because of it. when my mom finally kicked him out, he disappeared for 3 days and never showed up to work. he had been sleeping in his car in a parking lot and hadn't ate for 3/4 days... my mom comes off as a psycho but let's be honest, she is. she's a sociopath. i'm pretty sure.
anyway. unless you are getting BEAT or ABUSED/cheated on in some way shape or form... you should not be walking away from what you wanted. and in alot of ways, people walk out of marriages cause it's easy. sure it's easy and it's spiteful to get to walk away from a man, take his kids and hurt him that way. but for two seconds do you really see a good reason for it other than you get some sick vengeful void filled...
sorry i'm not a feminist. in fact i believe most women create issues vs. men. if you've never read the book "The proper care and feeding of husbands". yeah you can go all 1940's on my butt but i kinda think this stuff is true!
but even i need to do better with this stuff. I'm not always the cleanest or the most organized. i know i gotta do better in some areas but for the life of me, i would never leave him cause something might be too hard. i just don't get it, why can't you figure it out.
before i start hearing the 'you don't know what it's like' speeches - ya, i might not totally know. i picked a pretty decent guy, with a job and he's older than me so there's some maturity. i think off the bat i made a good choice.
i think more girls/guys need to stop when they meet each other and really analyze if they can have kids and see a future with the person. that might be step one when wanting to stay together forever with someone.
i have to say i totally agree with you. it really makes me sad when people just give up, when things get hard. people dont think how great things could be if they work through the hard parts together, they would come out so much stonger on the other end. marriage isn't viewed as much of a great thing anymore, more of an inconvience for what they really want to do with their lives. i'm sure i could say more and really get into it of course, but i'll just say is wish couples would just try a little harder.
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