not alot of time...

emrhubby has been gone for 4.5 hours. he's at the st.john ambulance thing they have every monday. i guess they go over training and practice some stuff. last time he was about 3 hours but it's super late and i have a toddler that keeps asking where her dad is... i guess i could put her to bed. but she's being good and had a really late nap. we dont have strict scheduling in our house. we just play it by ear, sometimes she's in bed by 8pm sometimes 10.30pm. that might sound horrible to some but it works for us. we also don't have a nightmare tot. emrtot is a pretty good, easy going kid - plus she really wants to see her dad. he was out most of the day and only saw her about an hour and bit today in total.

(emrhubby after he got up and went to the take bottles back and decided to clean his boots)

i suppose we all should get used to this not seeing him thing. when we starts school on october 29th, i have a feeling i will become a married-single mom. and if i'm being frank, i could not be a single mom. i would suck BAD at it. one, i would go crazy ... two, being alone - gives me a weird feeling. three that means something awful as i know whatever me and emrhubby go through we will get through it and divorce is not only not fair on kids but it makes people go weird. (well, at least one ends up going weird)

my parents are a good example of this. of course my mother made my dad sleep in the closet because she hated his snoring... yea, she's what you call actually "crazy". emrhubby does not hold alot of respect for my mother... its sad but sometimes i really feel that she thinks we'll break up and i'll come crying and wanting to live with her. that will NEVER happen. we lived with her for 6months before emrtot was born and then we bought our townhome but emrhubby couldn't stand living there anymore so we had to leave. she had broken up with her boyfriend (who is now her boyfriend now) and started to get really weird. yelling at us about crumbs on the counters and when emrhubby wasn't around she'd tell me all the things he does wrong - well, in her in her eyes. it was a nightmare and it felt like you were drowning... ugh... anyway, i believe emrhubby just got home, can hear the diesel truck outside and the dogs got up!