2012.

2012. you made me cry. you made me cringe. you made my insides turn and my heart stop. you made us jump through hoops, just to drag us through the mud. you tested our patience and heightened our stess. you took me away from easy and showed me real life....2012 you had amazing moments but you sure knew how to deal them...

at the beginning of this year I was pregnant with our baby boy. we weren't really thinking of what was next but we thought we were still horse hauling so we were planning that. everything seemed okay going into the first month. but emrhubs back got messed up at work. so he went off. then we braved a broken down truck, hundreds of miles away from home. trusting a shop that should have been trustworthy. that landed us in debt and never fixed our truck. but in the process we met some amazing people and emrhubs started to think about paramedic school. we had our son in june and then emrhub's dad cheated on his mom and she came to live with us. he now seems like a different person to us. i swear - you can try to be as big of a person as you want, but you'll never be the same person to me. and then hub's went back to work. then he got assulted. then i remember thinking 'NOW WHAT...' but he went to school, for EMR and passed. but for the past six months he hadn't been at work. and things started to get tense. between doctors and the work safe company. and we somehow scrounged up $5,900 to put emrhubs in Paramedic School for the fall. now we were in the home stretch. 2012 was almost over. he's half way through school and week before the company tells us their not covering emrhubs for what happened to him. so we have to claim it on our benefits. So we try to make it the best christmas we can. then for the last hurrah for new years we decide to rent a cabin out in the valley of vancouver. while we were there this weekend our beloved rescue dog maggie seemly gets ill, but bounces back the next day. today she disappeared. leaving the kids and our yellow lab. We searched for five hours in the woods. looking and hoping but she never came back. we love you maggie. we always will. you will forever be our dog. you will forever be ours. i will never let you do. never. ever.

now that it's 2013, beat down from 2012 and this coming from someone who is always a optimistic. i know things happen for reasons. but taking my dog was a hard pill to swallow, 2012. and on new years eve?

 so that being said. 2013 will have to be amazing. it will be amazing, because i am fully exhausted and i feel the battle on me. I feel it weighing in. im done. i will never forget this year but i won't readily look back either. so turn to the new chapter in our life. cause 2013, you're now here.

will post new years resolutions in a bit here... still thinking...

love you maggie...