one person out there.

well. I you know when people talk to you about life experiences. how they build you and shape you into a different person. How one moment, can change you and how you look at things...

well saturday night that happened to me.

emrhubs was volunteering and I was heading to my friend's party at a studio. things were going super good. until this guy walks in.

magnetic pull... whatever you want to call it. kept us looking at each other.

here i was shouting at myself - what the heck! walk da hell the other way. but I couldn't and I figured even if I talked to him. what's the worse that could happen?

The thing is... I used to preach. oh my gawd, I don't understand how people cheat on people. how do you do that to the person you're meant to spend your life with! what's wrong WITH people! 

that was me like last week.

the thing is. yes, I am fully committed to my husband but that night. that party. it gave me a taste of maybe that's why people cheat. maybe that's why it's hard to walk away. maybe there's not just one person out there for everyone.

it's a scary thought. and I want you guys to know, nothing came of this. however, it shook me a bit.

He in many senses... gave me the same feelings my husband does and that scared me. my husband wasn't there to pull me away or catch me. or say what are you doing!

It was one night and I spent the whole night - talking to this great man but I had my great man at home. The one i married, committed to, have children with and love.

it's very odd to be in that situation. i've never craved another person.
it was like a light switched got flipped on and it was BLINKING at me, saying... well if you hadn't ever met emrhubs or had kids or... this guy would have been it too.

It's mind mess-able! the way he looked at me. the way he followed me. let me tease him. the way that even though i said i had kids and husband, you saw his face break... oh gawd, it was AWFUL. so awful!

yet, i'm so glad it happened. Im so glad i experienced that and chose to walk back to my husband.
that guy wasn't an ass or a idiot, he deserves a good girl and he'll get one. but i wasn't that girl.

maybe another life. another world. another century, but not this one.

thank god... i have this man. (we soooo need new photos, i'm gonna work on that in the next month here haha)

this all might sound weird to you but i wanted to share it and like i've said before, this blog is borderline therapy for me a lot of time.